Dude, pull your damn pants up!

Posted: August 17, 2012 in The new generation


Just like everyone else on earth I have needs, I need to eat, breathe, and I need to keep my wife happy, so that I can live in peace. I also have wants, I want to win the lottery, I want Halle Berry to find me desirable, but one thing I know more than anything else is that I don’t need and sure as hell don’t want to see a guy wearing his pants so low that I can see male ass cleavage (emphasis here on male, cause if a woman is revealing any kind of cleavage, I have no issues with that…absolutely none!).

Who would have thought that a hideous trend, which started in prison could have spawned and infected not just a generation, but an entire generation. There was once a color, class and creed stereo type associated with this style, now, everyone’s in on it.

Prison officials banned the wearing of belts, because inmates would make weapons with the buckle or use the strap itself to strangle someone, or commit suicide by hanging. So a guy might have gone jail, the prison issue pants might have been a little snug initially, but then as guys work out(as they often do in prison), or aren’t privy to beer and their choice of rich robust repast, they would lose weight, so without the belt and compliments of our mutual acquaintance gravity, the pants would migrate from the waistline downward.

In its infancy, mainly inner city youth of Black and Hispanic persuasion in the US, were wearing their pants like that. Now I see well to white kids, Asian even Indian kids on the band-wagon (the latter 2 very socially conservative and religious cultures). So that got me to thinking back in our respective days were we any better than the now generation.

I was born in Montreal to middle class, well-educated parents in 1965. Though I existed, I was far too young to be smitten by the hippie movement, I wasn’t a stoner in my teen years and I came up during the disco era, roller skating disco rinks, the remnants of the late 70’s bell bottom pants and platform shoes still fashionable but trending down towards the 80’s. I remember wearing Converse and Pro Keds (those multi colored canvas shoes), you would have a red pair and a blue pair for e.g. and wear left foot red, right foot blue for fun (nowadays you wear red or blue in certain areas in the US and you might lose your life for being mistaken for a Crip or Blood). Disco dancing, popping and locking, break dancing, that was the in thing. I am 46 years old and have never touched a gun, I have no criminal record, never been to jail (that goes without saying). If being dull is what I am…I like it!!

So, for those parents who are going through the agony of this fashion trend that has lingered far too long, let me offer you words of encouragement, this is hopefully a passing phase, if it isn’t, then here is a desperation tac-tic and social experiment you could try. Start texting during dinner, or at any inappropriate time like church. Learn all the slang and acronyms…, yes even the profane ones (WTF) and use it in your conversations with them, and the Pièce de résistance…, befriend the parents of  your kids best friends, and every weekend all of you go to your kids favorite hang out spots, like the mall or cinema, the arcade (where ev) dressed just like they are, pants sagging, ass cleavage clearly visible from space. That may do the trick. Then again you might like it, who knows?

And finally to our kids, if we have to see your skivvies, for heaven’s sake man, make sure they don’t have skid marks in them, or at least wear Fruit of the loom or Hanes, (have some class! )

Written by L.Patterson (smokinpro)


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